A moment of recollection

It is so amazing that some people are in our lives for the better. I mean we all have those people that are there and slowly fade away. Like the people you see in the store whom you know you went to middle school with but, you shy away from saying "Hey, I remmeber you we went to _______ together". We all have those. We also all have those who are in our lives to teach us things, though at the time and maybe for years after we never catch on until one day it hits us.

Then there are the people in our lives who we meet, fall in love with, and marry, who we figure out one day that this person though we have taken our vows and planne dour lives together really is someone who belongs in your life. My wife, my beautiful, beautiful wife got this recognition from me today. I drive 30 - 45 minutes to work. On this day I did nothing but listen to a song that reminded me of her, on repeat the whole way. A song by someone I would never listen to on my own. A genre I pretty much despise. It wasn't even the song really, it was more of the fact that she has a connection with this song. Though it is only the chorus, this song brings tears to my eyes.

Because I have decided that personal need if second only to my family and third in the line of peopel I love. I spent many years of my life hating everything and everyone in it, only to fall head over heels for someone over 4 years ago. It is funny people say they fall out of love, or that "things are differant". I think these people are in it for the wrong reasons. Our relationship started out rough. Our life together has never been perfect. Regardless, we are together and I learn more about her everyday. She is the one I will continue to adore forever. We all have our moments and our pasts loves, and lives but, what really matters is where we are right now and who we are with. It kills me to be away from my wife and daughter. They are that center I needed to find myself. I  spent so many years feeling empty, trying to find myself. Who would have known Who I am was in Colorado, wanting me to complete her. She will tell you she never wanted to be married or have children. But the light in her eyes and the smile she bares when our daughter does something she learned, is beyond explanation, as is my love for her... I don't know if you will ever see this Jo and Eleanore, but I love you both with all of my heart...

Love,
Daddy

12/17/09

Well here I go back into work again tonight. I am just cleaning the house and tidying up before I have to go... Noir is watching a movie and laying down so it is quiet here at home. Jo is still at work and by the time is off work I will be well on my way to mine. I just wish things were different. I wish we both worked day shifts all the time. This night shift thing kills me when she is working because we get NO time together at all. It is good for Noir and I because we hang out alone but I mean I miss my Jo.

Well on a lighter note I am getting Ableton 8 again and am really gonna put forth some effort in making some music.

Well that is all for now

The Tragedy of a Lonely Night (old)

Your words defy the wisdom


Imprinted on my brain

The countless foreign memories

The beating of the rain

Constantly we tremble

Beyond our moments hush

Here we stand so silent

Amidst the morning rush



But here we find the problem

The parody of it all

While I search for the beginning

The end will never stall

Holding on is useless

When time steals all things

The memories your words beckon

Becoming so strained



Listening as to hear

As my senses become drained

Struggling to feel this

As we sit inside our rain

Blending in to nature

Being out of sight

Buried are our consequences

We’ve left them for the night

We sail across these oceans

Beyond what most can see

Through exchange of bitter words

We burn our candle light

Nothing seems to hold our key

But we hold each other



I was born with nimble hands

And brittle broken fingers

Solace slips between them

And reaches for the trigger

If we find our comfort

If we find our place to be

Born again we've become

Replacing both our keys

Locks now we burden

Beyond our subtlety



Your words defy my wisdom

Imprinted on my brain

The countless foreign memories

The beating of the rain

Constantly we tremble

Beyond our moments hush

Here we stand so silent

Amidst the morning rush



Again I know I'll see you

Though this night is not for us

When morning comes

Our battles won

Another day goes by

As I lay asleep with you by my side.

12/07/09

Well the year is almost over. We actually went to a church gathering sunday. Not for the church but for the free lunch... lol. I am a Hermeticist. I went to support the mother-inlaw and for again the free lunch. It snowed like crazy today, all day. I woke up to snow and came to work with snow. We are supposed to have a snow storm for a few days. So, we will see how this all goes.

I am at PC3 station tonight. We have a guy on a vacation day. So I am the filler, the boss, and the HMI (human machine interface) operator.... YAY. Atleast I get an extra hour for it all. Well the bossing thing anyways.

Other then all this today has been a great day for me. I love it that Jo and I are IN love again. Not that our feelings ever changed but things were seriously tight there for a bit.

Well off I go.

En.Ki

another day another dollar...

So i sit here at station PC2. All I want is to be home again for a few days. Which will happen at 6pm tonight and I will finally behome for a few days with the family. Day shifts are waaaaay better than nightshifts don't get me wrong, but who doesn't want to be a millionair and only do what he/she wants all day?

So, my biggest dillema is that yes we have a new car but the other vehicle is a piece of shit so it only runs half the time and now needs a new tire or atleast a used one to get Jo to work and stuff. It needs a battery, seems it doesn't want to stay charged at all. So that is my next goal is to get that thing running for her. It is really nothing to be proud of, but it will do the job.

Today when I woke it was -15 degrees. Which is so ridiculously cold. I had my car warmed up for 15 to 20 minutes with the heat on 80degrees and it was still pretty cold in it this morning. Needless to say it was a long cold drive this morning. To go with all this I feel horrible because Jo maybe walking to work this morning. Granted it is only about 2 blocks or so from the house but it is sooooo cold.

Well I will let that be it for now... got to go


En.Ki