Friday, November 27, 2009
the day after
Well today is the day after Thanksgiving. A time when we remember how much we ate and how much more we drank than we should have. I certainly did. There isn't much going on today but some cleaning I have to do. So nothing to report.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
haha...
Ha ha... today is my last day of work for 6 days... In the words of Britany Spears "Happy Turkey day ya'll"
Well even though it is my last day I am a bit hastened. I have to be in the Floater/Rover position when we return to work on the 1st. This means more enteractment with "He with whom I hate". I think it will be ok, but I have a lot of anxiety over it lol... we will just have to see how it goes when it happens. Seems he is off most of the month anyways so maybe we can make this an ok thing. We will once again see.
Well Jo is trying to get some General studies soon. She wants to do so, so that she can have her Associates in general studies before we move to Nashville in a few years... so she is gonna start this soon I hope. She wants a Psycology degree... bachleor's but pref. Masters. I plan on having 3 certifications by that time also... Soon I can take my A+ exam... then start on my Network+, and eventually my Security+ or MCDT.
Which will hopefully land me a kick ass job there in the great ole' south.
Well I am excited about being home for 6 days. I know I spent a lot of time at home being sick/hurt whatever, but man it seems i have been working alot. Even though things seem better here at work I still don't want to be here. This place is not me anymore. It has been a decent place to work and I have made a good salary but I can not wait till it is time to move on. This is technically the longest jon I have ever had so it has been a good experience in that aspect but I thikn I am done. Don't get me wrong I am not gonna just leave here, but I do plan on bettering myself when we move. This will be the last physical labor job I get. You can count on that.
Well Jo and Eleanore, and Mamie are in Summit today getting some last items for Thanksgiving. So, I sit here bored pounding away on my keyboard and doing redundant checks on equipment. But I had better leave this be for now. Wish me luck for my triumphant return on the 1st. Though I will blog before then...
En.Ki
Well even though it is my last day I am a bit hastened. I have to be in the Floater/Rover position when we return to work on the 1st. This means more enteractment with "He with whom I hate". I think it will be ok, but I have a lot of anxiety over it lol... we will just have to see how it goes when it happens. Seems he is off most of the month anyways so maybe we can make this an ok thing. We will once again see.
Well Jo is trying to get some General studies soon. She wants to do so, so that she can have her Associates in general studies before we move to Nashville in a few years... so she is gonna start this soon I hope. She wants a Psycology degree... bachleor's but pref. Masters. I plan on having 3 certifications by that time also... Soon I can take my A+ exam... then start on my Network+, and eventually my Security+ or MCDT.
Which will hopefully land me a kick ass job there in the great ole' south.
Well I am excited about being home for 6 days. I know I spent a lot of time at home being sick/hurt whatever, but man it seems i have been working alot. Even though things seem better here at work I still don't want to be here. This place is not me anymore. It has been a decent place to work and I have made a good salary but I can not wait till it is time to move on. This is technically the longest jon I have ever had so it has been a good experience in that aspect but I thikn I am done. Don't get me wrong I am not gonna just leave here, but I do plan on bettering myself when we move. This will be the last physical labor job I get. You can count on that.
Well Jo and Eleanore, and Mamie are in Summit today getting some last items for Thanksgiving. So, I sit here bored pounding away on my keyboard and doing redundant checks on equipment. But I had better leave this be for now. Wish me luck for my triumphant return on the 1st. Though I will blog before then...
En.Ki
Saturday, November 21, 2009
11/21/09...
So, here I am again bored as hell at work... I am bored because shit just ogt up and running so there isn't much to do as of yet. I have today and 3 more days then I am on longchange aka 6 days off. There isn't much to talk about... nothing much has been going on. But I try to make an effort to post when I can regardless of what... Gotta do my journal thing. Well maybe I will update more later...
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
the last nightshift... well for now
Well, as I sit here at work I feel relieved that this is the last night shift for awhile. Though it has only been 2 nights it is good to know I have 4 days shifts (starting Saturday) then back to long change (6days off). All in all I can't beat my job. I work 15 days a month and that's it. They are spread out a bit but i get alot of days off. Things here have calmed themselves to the point I come here, work , then go home with none of it on my chest. I know this doesn't make for a good ranting blog but it does make life a bit easier.
There has been so much change lately. From a new car, to just peacefulness all around. I can't wait till I have long change to be with my family. I really hate not being there for Noir. She needs her space as well as
I do, but it is so great to be around her. She always has a mile on her face. Unless she is in trouble lol.
Jo is wonderful. We have had some recent issues but I think they are over with now. I have been trying to put forth a better effort to show my concern about what is going on with her. So I think things are calming. At least for now. Well I had best go...
En.Ki
There has been so much change lately. From a new car, to just peacefulness all around. I can't wait till I have long change to be with my family. I really hate not being there for Noir. She needs her space as well as
I do, but it is so great to be around her. She always has a mile on her face. Unless she is in trouble lol.
Jo is wonderful. We have had some recent issues but I think they are over with now. I have been trying to put forth a better effort to show my concern about what is going on with her. So I think things are calming. At least for now. Well I had best go...
En.Ki
Resurrection (beyond loving you){old}
in time we shall be born again
in retrospect will I be there holding your hand
will the shade of what we used to be
be there to tell us the part
will we bare remenants of... we
crying
this newborn
the night of tales
as we desend upon our rose
the thorns we must bare
a pain we must...
in time we shall be born again
in respect will I be there
will the heart of what we used to be
be there to show us our part
will we bare the reminders of... us
dying
this time of sand
the tales of night
as we descend upon our thorne
the thorns we must bare
a pain we must share
tell me of your memories
as I pretend to never know
this bleeding head of unforgiving
this lie I can't stand
tell me of your daydreams
of how we used to be
in time we shall be born again
baring fruit for this tree...
may we...
in retrospect will I be there holding your hand
will the shade of what we used to be
be there to tell us the part
will we bare remenants of... we
crying
this newborn
the night of tales
as we desend upon our rose
the thorns we must bare
a pain we must...
in time we shall be born again
in respect will I be there
will the heart of what we used to be
be there to show us our part
will we bare the reminders of... us
dying
this time of sand
the tales of night
as we descend upon our thorne
the thorns we must bare
a pain we must share
tell me of your memories
as I pretend to never know
this bleeding head of unforgiving
this lie I can't stand
tell me of your daydreams
of how we used to be
in time we shall be born again
baring fruit for this tree...
may we...
Beyond... (old)
carry me on
beyond the waves
beyond the stars
relive the pain of yesterday
as I begin to swell again
the bending of the rain to spare me
the lifeless me
the timeless me
I carry on the ways
to send the moon it's faults
I end up staring
at crators that I dug myself
holes that hold my cries
filling my eyes...
with each syllable...
I die.
beyond the thoughts
of nothing left
swelling carries a different breathe
then I
then I feel
just then
I soak it up
the demon in my head
this shallow cup
begins to spill
none of this is real
beyond the waves
beyond the stars
relive the pain of yesterday
as I begin to swell again
the bending of the rain to spare me
the lifeless me
the timeless me
I carry on the ways
to send the moon it's faults
I end up staring
at crators that I dug myself
holes that hold my cries
filling my eyes...
with each syllable...
I die.
beyond the thoughts
of nothing left
swelling carries a different breathe
then I
then I feel
just then
I soak it up
the demon in my head
this shallow cup
begins to spill
none of this is real
Sleep to Dream (old)
words bury their face here
they dig holes as deep as I
they hide from eyes
they sings lullabies
they speak me to sleep
in my heart of hearts
in the depths of my soul
carelessly we show our faces
when all we wanted was
so alone
bleed my eyes
let the day go astray
sift through the labyrinth
as we find our way
as we begin to fade
singing
and crying our way home
why does this end
the courage I feel
why does it matter
the day of today
sing your solemn lullaby
so I may drift away
words they bury their face here
they dig holes as deep as I
they hide from eyes
they sing lullabies
they speak me to sleep
you whisper me to dreams...
sleep well my love...
they dig holes as deep as I
they hide from eyes
they sings lullabies
they speak me to sleep
in my heart of hearts
in the depths of my soul
carelessly we show our faces
when all we wanted was
so alone
bleed my eyes
let the day go astray
sift through the labyrinth
as we find our way
as we begin to fade
singing
and crying our way home
why does this end
the courage I feel
why does it matter
the day of today
sing your solemn lullaby
so I may drift away
words they bury their face here
they dig holes as deep as I
they hide from eyes
they sing lullabies
they speak me to sleep
you whisper me to dreams...
sleep well my love...
They Forget to be (old)
safely
within sanctity
I pleed
fleeing the mess
the eventual caress
of the nightly angel of death
days divide our senses
seperate they begin to bleed
desolate once returned
they forget to be
the light is blinding
the sounds do deafen
this is not where we come from
nor' is it where we've been
can we take this back?
the loss of all senses
the loss of sanity
nights they try
to regain our calls
the rythmn of the wind
as snow begins to fall
in this wasteland we call home
this is not where we come from
nor' is it where we've been
laying sinning on the bed
slitting the slivers of a masocast
to adore you
holding it in
we lie here on our backs
reincarnate our souls
days divide our senses
seperate they begin to bleed
desolate once returned
they forget to be
within sanctity
I pleed
fleeing the mess
the eventual caress
of the nightly angel of death
days divide our senses
seperate they begin to bleed
desolate once returned
they forget to be
the light is blinding
the sounds do deafen
this is not where we come from
nor' is it where we've been
can we take this back?
the loss of all senses
the loss of sanity
nights they try
to regain our calls
the rythmn of the wind
as snow begins to fall
in this wasteland we call home
this is not where we come from
nor' is it where we've been
laying sinning on the bed
slitting the slivers of a masocast
to adore you
holding it in
we lie here on our backs
reincarnate our souls
days divide our senses
seperate they begin to bleed
desolate once returned
they forget to be
Frozen Throne (old)
detoured...
and becoming
the king of... our mourning
this place that... I call home
conflicted...
I stand tall
white flags...
to defend you
unborn
are the senses
the hollow
the center
frozen they... can fill me
sitting on my throne
bare and all alone
I am here...
am I home
and becoming
the king of... our mourning
this place that... I call home
conflicted...
I stand tall
white flags...
to defend you
unborn
are the senses
the hollow
the center
frozen they... can fill me
sitting on my throne
bare and all alone
I am here...
am I home
Dead Inside (old)
your words divide this sensitive side
you seperate the pain....
deep inside we hold this tragic
it's tragic
the magic we feel
burning alive
the yearning inside
baring the hypocrisy
eaten alive
dead inside
forgotten and frozen still
your words seem to defy
the logic bred through my eyes
pending the health and confusion
the illusion
a contusion
in my head
feed on me
show your carnivorous teeth
shred the dead from my head
rapture the wrapping of defeat
it's tragic
the magic we feel
FO...CUS...
burning alive
dead inside
baring the hypocrisy
eaten alive
dead inside
forgotten and frozen still
you seperate the pain....
deep inside we hold this tragic
it's tragic
the magic we feel
burning alive
the yearning inside
baring the hypocrisy
eaten alive
dead inside
forgotten and frozen still
your words seem to defy
the logic bred through my eyes
pending the health and confusion
the illusion
a contusion
in my head
feed on me
show your carnivorous teeth
shred the dead from my head
rapture the wrapping of defeat
it's tragic
the magic we feel
FO...CUS...
burning alive
dead inside
baring the hypocrisy
eaten alive
dead inside
forgotten and frozen still
Blink (old)
if I stand
if I begin to fall
will you be there for me
will the things we have always meant to say
come to work this day?
speaking is beyond our minds
I lift a veil to show your face
the race of paces that hold our cup
should we run over
should we express our sides
sing the lullabies
the sleeping stories I never recieved
the beating veins I begin to see
slowing bleed in front of me
if I stand
if I begin to fall
will you be there for me
will the things
we always say
save my mind this day
will the tears drown me
setting me free?
should I blink...
if I begin to fall
will you be there for me
will the things we have always meant to say
come to work this day?
speaking is beyond our minds
I lift a veil to show your face
the race of paces that hold our cup
should we run over
should we express our sides
sing the lullabies
the sleeping stories I never recieved
the beating veins I begin to see
slowing bleed in front of me
if I stand
if I begin to fall
will you be there for me
will the things
we always say
save my mind this day
will the tears drown me
setting me free?
should I blink...
A Love Beyond Time (old poetry)
it's cold...
can we stay inside tonight
we fought off the rain
draining our last breath
our bodies shall grow old tonight
they should rott in this place
together laying hand in hand
we hold on to the night
gently wrapped around you
these arms of black and grey
holding on til' morning
til' we part our ways
can we stay asleep tonight
dreaming our little dreams
can we stay awake
to blow out the candle light
deep inside we feel it
sometimes though not expressed
every morning leaving
every loving kiss
...so can we stay inside tonight
to see this through til' day
portraits of these memories
laying next to you
our bodies shall grow old tonight
they should rott in this place
together we'll lay hand in hand
holding on to the night
gently will I kiss you
like I used to do
these arms of black and grey
hold you til' mornings light
til' we start our day...
... and though the sun has faded
the day now turns to night
hiding from the down pour
lighting candle lights
another day has left us
...and another day will come
tonight we sleep while dreaming
these dreams of our own...
these arms of black and grey will hold you...
til' we meet again...
keep these thoughts with you...
as daily they renew
gently will I kiss you...
gently holding you...
can we stay inside tonight
we fought off the rain
draining our last breath
our bodies shall grow old tonight
they should rott in this place
together laying hand in hand
we hold on to the night
gently wrapped around you
these arms of black and grey
holding on til' morning
til' we part our ways
can we stay asleep tonight
dreaming our little dreams
can we stay awake
to blow out the candle light
deep inside we feel it
sometimes though not expressed
every morning leaving
every loving kiss
...so can we stay inside tonight
to see this through til' day
portraits of these memories
laying next to you
our bodies shall grow old tonight
they should rott in this place
together we'll lay hand in hand
holding on to the night
gently will I kiss you
like I used to do
these arms of black and grey
hold you til' mornings light
til' we start our day...
... and though the sun has faded
the day now turns to night
hiding from the down pour
lighting candle lights
another day has left us
...and another day will come
tonight we sleep while dreaming
these dreams of our own...
these arms of black and grey will hold you...
til' we meet again...
keep these thoughts with you...
as daily they renew
gently will I kiss you...
gently holding you...
NOIR (old poetry)
is this my prize
a thousand years of baren black
is this my life
holding you here now
everything begins to fade
a tunnel vision of her
this is where life begins
this is where we begin
as us
our family...
can this be it
little eyes and lullabies
sceaming minds
and restless nights
none of this matters
I want to sooth your cries
Noir
a thousand years of baren black
is this my life
holding you here now
everything begins to fade
a tunnel vision of her
this is where life begins
this is where we begin
as us
our family...
can this be it
little eyes and lullabies
sceaming minds
and restless nights
none of this matters
I want to sooth your cries
Noir
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
another day... just not as bad
Well today as the title says really wasn't a bad day it seems we cleaned Eleanore's room for a bit and then just kind of layed around till it was work time. I am so glad things are getting back to normal at home and at work. Seems I needed to attempt myself to help the situations before they would be calmed. Though there are still a few rough edges here at work it seems as though the mainflow of shit is over. I really can't complain much anymore. When you think things are falling apart or you see them at their worst, you know you will never let them subside like that again.
Well it is only 8:25pm and I am freeking tired. I have mess to work on tonight. I think I have the worst part behind me now though. Noone cleaned my area until today then we had issues during dayshift so the cleanup never really got attended to. But I think I have it under control.
I made a Facebook just the other day. I added an ex. Not just any, Treven's mom. It seems he has his own facebook. I am sure either she runs it or her parents. It kinda has me in an off mood. Just when things begin to calm down I see a picture of my little boy. I really don't feel I have the right to talk to him. I kinda let things go to far. Though only the All knows what the future holds, until then we will just have to wait and see.
Ok I am gone for now, typing makes me really sleepy...
En.Ki
Well it is only 8:25pm and I am freeking tired. I have mess to work on tonight. I think I have the worst part behind me now though. Noone cleaned my area until today then we had issues during dayshift so the cleanup never really got attended to. But I think I have it under control.
I made a Facebook just the other day. I added an ex. Not just any, Treven's mom. It seems he has his own facebook. I am sure either she runs it or her parents. It kinda has me in an off mood. Just when things begin to calm down I see a picture of my little boy. I really don't feel I have the right to talk to him. I kinda let things go to far. Though only the All knows what the future holds, until then we will just have to wait and see.
Ok I am gone for now, typing makes me really sleepy...
En.Ki
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Webs
Spinning these spider webs
the faults of our fathers
the burden of us all
in dreams we find our chaos
the morning after to erase
cause the demons to subside
so I can save face
will this be the end?
will we cave in disgrace?
We begin again
born through this sin
reincarnate our we
so we shed our skins
Casually creating
oblivious to reason
force fed our existence
reading pages from books that no longer ring true
burden our chances of freedom
burn our rotten souls to the core
we bare sins of our fathers
we share their score
Forcing direction
guiding us through our hollowed trees
born we sit in silence
in silence we will see
you call me friend and rape my heart
you read my hands and forced my start
ignorance suffered through bliss
endless...
in this...
the faults of our fathers
the burden of us all
in dreams we find our chaos
the morning after to erase
cause the demons to subside
so I can save face
will this be the end?
will we cave in disgrace?
We begin again
born through this sin
reincarnate our we
so we shed our skins
Casually creating
oblivious to reason
force fed our existence
reading pages from books that no longer ring true
burden our chances of freedom
burn our rotten souls to the core
we bare sins of our fathers
we share their score
Forcing direction
guiding us through our hollowed trees
born we sit in silence
in silence we will see
you call me friend and rape my heart
you read my hands and forced my start
ignorance suffered through bliss
endless...
in this...
Saturday, November 14, 2009
:(
It seems I can do nothing right. After an argument this morning, I attempted to make things right by going to visit my love. I knew here boss was supposed to be there. So, I drove to her work and the only car there was ours. So I figured he wasn't there as of yet. Well he was and it seems I am in trouble over that. I hope not because I was attempting to bring a peace offering. I wasn't trying to get her in trouble or whatever, and her boss didn't even see me but once again I can do nothing right. So I plan on just cleaning the house all day and nothing more. I just miss the way we were. Sometimes I wonder if we are even close anymore. There has been so much shit happening the past few weeks that I seem to have over looked her and somethings were she really needs me. I let my meaningless battle at work become something more than a problem but an all consuming thing. I have left her out.I have been dragging that shit home everyday. Instead of leaving it were t should stay. I seem to have straightened shit out at work a bit, now it is time to fix the shit at home. I just hope it isn't to late.
En.Ki
En.Ki
Friday, November 13, 2009
So... today is a new day.
So... today is a new day, atleast I hope. Seems after my only slightly sincere apology things are on the up. I guess what ever makes certain people happy?! But, I sit here now at work, and am glad it is only a 10hr day and not a full 12. Man even though I have been missing lot of work I am really ready for another few days off. After today I have 3 off. Then I have 2 nightshifts on, Then 2 or 3 off again, and then back for 4 days and then off for 6. I think I will survive. It is amazing to me how a simple gesture can change the attitude of people. Though only time will tell if it is a permanent fixture it seems to be a great start. By sitting back and realizing my faults and my inconsistances I was able to come to the conclusion that an apology was in order. All of this despite my true feelings and instant rage yesterday. I just want to be able to come to work and do my job to the best of my ability and then go home. Maybe now I can finally stop taking work home with me again for a bit. You can only strees your wife out so much.
So, today is a new day. One that is reprted to be snow covered. Since I am at work and this is an extra day I will have to go.
En.Ki
So, today is a new day. One that is reprted to be snow covered. Since I am at work and this is an extra day I will have to go.
En.Ki
Thursday, November 12, 2009
ehhhh...
So this is sort of an addmendum to my earlier posting. So now my boss thinks I should apologize to the guy for not following the chain of command when needing help. I feel this isn't what should happen but, if it will bring some sanity back to my work place maybe it is worth it, real or not. I kind of understand his position on THIS incident. He had no clue and he was in charge. I was sick and throwing up and losing feeling in my face and hands and was severly dehydrated, I wasn't thinking of calling the boss I wanted to call the person who could help me most. Well I guess in the corporate world this is a big no-no. You wait around till some guy who already dislikes you decides to come check on you. My boss tells me that if he would have done nothing then he would have been punished. IF HE WOULD HAVE DONE NOTHING, I COULD HAVE DIED! I was 10% dehydrated and my Dr. told me it was a good thing I got there when I did.
I dunno guys you decide... if anyone reads this ever then let me know!
I dunno guys you decide... if anyone reads this ever then let me know!
Fuck today, fuck it right in the....
Well today as yesterday the shit hits the fan. In our morning meeting I was being corrected for a lack of communication with some one, and then gave my reasoning. The individual throws his arms in that "get that shit out of here" kind of movement while pretty much saying so also. So here is a recap of the original incident that happened.
One night shift last week I was in my area it was around 8:30 or 9:00pm and I started getting sick. I began throwing up, my stomach began convulsing and I instantly had explosive diahrrea. Now being as for the first few hours I was feeling fine I had no idea what the hell was going on. I attempted to just throw up and crap myself, then try to sit down and drink some water. This led to more of the above. Finally around 10:00ish my hands, my face, my toes and my mouth all were numb. Within a few minutes my hands were locked up into what my wife has now dubbed "Lobster Claws". I couldn't move my hands, or my fingers. At this point I began flipping out and hyperventilating. After just a few minutes of that (keep in mind I am vomitting and crapping myself the whole time) I called a person who is basically an EMT here. He sent down someone to check on me and I was immediatly rushed to the E.R. though it took us over an hour to get there (it was only 30 minutes away) because I had to make him pull over because I had to throw up. I eventually took an explosive crap on the side of the road because I couldn't handle it.
So the time is now about 11:10 or so. I am hooked up to an I.V. and they pump 3 (count them 3) liters of saline and some anti nausea meds to get me normal. He (the Doc) thought it was a bug set off by days of eating at me, or food poisoning. Well the next day I wasn't allowed solid food until 7:00pm, because he wanted me to not be sick anymore. Turns out it was food poisoning, as I said in another post.
So now today this individual is pissed because I didn't call him. He is the last person I would have called. Hmmmm.... call an EMT or Call the shithead who has been basically torturing me at work? I am pissed and as of today will be actively seeking employment elsewhere if this is not resolved within a few hours. I have to work tomorrow but will have all of monday to put in apps everywhere. For some reason he gets away with this shit and I am left to bare with it. I have tried to give my bosses the benefit of the doubt, and all they can say is it will take time. I no longer have time. I am done. I am hoping that I can get a job at a place in town so I can save gas money since we have a new car. We will see.I need off this crew or I am done.
Fuck today , Fuck it right in the ass...
En.Ki
One night shift last week I was in my area it was around 8:30 or 9:00pm and I started getting sick. I began throwing up, my stomach began convulsing and I instantly had explosive diahrrea. Now being as for the first few hours I was feeling fine I had no idea what the hell was going on. I attempted to just throw up and crap myself, then try to sit down and drink some water. This led to more of the above. Finally around 10:00ish my hands, my face, my toes and my mouth all were numb. Within a few minutes my hands were locked up into what my wife has now dubbed "Lobster Claws". I couldn't move my hands, or my fingers. At this point I began flipping out and hyperventilating. After just a few minutes of that (keep in mind I am vomitting and crapping myself the whole time) I called a person who is basically an EMT here. He sent down someone to check on me and I was immediatly rushed to the E.R. though it took us over an hour to get there (it was only 30 minutes away) because I had to make him pull over because I had to throw up. I eventually took an explosive crap on the side of the road because I couldn't handle it.
So the time is now about 11:10 or so. I am hooked up to an I.V. and they pump 3 (count them 3) liters of saline and some anti nausea meds to get me normal. He (the Doc) thought it was a bug set off by days of eating at me, or food poisoning. Well the next day I wasn't allowed solid food until 7:00pm, because he wanted me to not be sick anymore. Turns out it was food poisoning, as I said in another post.
So now today this individual is pissed because I didn't call him. He is the last person I would have called. Hmmmm.... call an EMT or Call the shithead who has been basically torturing me at work? I am pissed and as of today will be actively seeking employment elsewhere if this is not resolved within a few hours. I have to work tomorrow but will have all of monday to put in apps everywhere. For some reason he gets away with this shit and I am left to bare with it. I have tried to give my bosses the benefit of the doubt, and all they can say is it will take time. I no longer have time. I am done. I am hoping that I can get a job at a place in town so I can save gas money since we have a new car. We will see.I need off this crew or I am done.
Fuck today , Fuck it right in the ass...
En.Ki
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Random Random Random
Casually I burn my soul
The parting gift
The Sole undertow
I claimed my place
My piece of this peace
The cutting of my skin
It's not what you think
Hid under my sink
I bare morals of no man
Because I am no man
I bury all your faces
I devour your souls
Not your eternal one
Just your minds pay toll
I have captured your beauty
Your esquisite tastes
I put them on display
For us all to hate
Can you remember
Can you comply
The days when I started and was pure in your eye
Help was around the corner
Though now it seems a few blocks away
I burn all your F@#$ing faces
I leave you in dismay
The parting gift
The Sole undertow
I claimed my place
My piece of this peace
The cutting of my skin
It's not what you think
Hid under my sink
I bare morals of no man
Because I am no man
I bury all your faces
I devour your souls
Not your eternal one
Just your minds pay toll
I have captured your beauty
Your esquisite tastes
I put them on display
For us all to hate
Can you remember
Can you comply
The days when I started and was pure in your eye
Help was around the corner
Though now it seems a few blocks away
I burn all your F@#$ing faces
I leave you in dismay
11/11/09
Ah a second day back to work after a terrible run in with food poisoning. Though I think I will keep the name of the vendor to myself as you never know what I may have done to help it along. Another day with the same crew the same attitudes and the same seemingly meanless job. Sure it pays well, but at what cost? 40k a year for my sanity! lol Seems I have cashed in.
Today, (Like all other days since our immediate crew change at the start of the year) was no exception to the ever prevailing endless line of B.S. When our boss opens a meeting asking me my opinion on a subject, I get a snicker from the already annoying co-worker who seems to dispize my very being. I answer to my full extent of the subject and of course the question is carried over to him (the annoying one) and to my shock -no sarcasm intended- he disagrees with me. It seems to me he is one of those people who would argue with you over if the sky is blue. I have been dealing with this strategic line or B.S. and falsehoods since the ever rememberable crew changes we had at the start of the year due to the economic down turn. I (after everyone else complained of being on a crew with these exact 3 people) am stuck in a spot were my best isn't good enough and only my mistakes aare relevant.
So, afer our meeting I left our table and headed for my area of work and have continued to do what I like doing and sit with raging scenes of what I would ever do if I caught him outside of work, though we all know we do this and in the situation we rarely ever do the fore-said things.
I have missed a lot of work recently. First my family (my wife and daughter and I) caught the flu, next on my first night back after my morning meeting I was headed home and wrecked or not so nice but nicer than our other car - car. So there we go out 4 days for the flu, then 3 for the wreck, then my first night back I end up with food poisoning and am rushed to the E.R.
Needlesss to say I have had a rough few weeks. To make these matters worse I have been being a Relief Supervisor and these lovely people at work are just not having it. As funny as I think it is that I have been here for a little less than 3 years and am doing what they are after 30+, I keep it to myself.
At this very moment it is twenty minutes till 1pm. I get out of here at 6pm, so I have about 5 or so hours to try and fill my dya with something that means more than this job to me.
I have been studying for my A+ certification. Though I am very knowledgable with a pc a little review never hurt anyone, and with a going rate of between $250.00 and $300.00 for the tests I had better pass. So this being my ambition, and more than a hobby this is were my time should be spent. I just want a PC related career, regardless of the doing. I am not lazy but F@#$ manual labor, no matter the pay.
Well, prepare for a lot of updates as i find this to be my ending to my first post. I plan on spouting random knowledge and random B.S. your way every time I get a chance oh relief of mine. So, expect post on life, cool things I like and poetry and songs.
I warned you so beware...
En.Ki
Today, (Like all other days since our immediate crew change at the start of the year) was no exception to the ever prevailing endless line of B.S. When our boss opens a meeting asking me my opinion on a subject, I get a snicker from the already annoying co-worker who seems to dispize my very being. I answer to my full extent of the subject and of course the question is carried over to him (the annoying one) and to my shock -no sarcasm intended- he disagrees with me. It seems to me he is one of those people who would argue with you over if the sky is blue. I have been dealing with this strategic line or B.S. and falsehoods since the ever rememberable crew changes we had at the start of the year due to the economic down turn. I (after everyone else complained of being on a crew with these exact 3 people) am stuck in a spot were my best isn't good enough and only my mistakes aare relevant.
So, afer our meeting I left our table and headed for my area of work and have continued to do what I like doing and sit with raging scenes of what I would ever do if I caught him outside of work, though we all know we do this and in the situation we rarely ever do the fore-said things.
I have missed a lot of work recently. First my family (my wife and daughter and I) caught the flu, next on my first night back after my morning meeting I was headed home and wrecked or not so nice but nicer than our other car - car. So there we go out 4 days for the flu, then 3 for the wreck, then my first night back I end up with food poisoning and am rushed to the E.R.
Needlesss to say I have had a rough few weeks. To make these matters worse I have been being a Relief Supervisor and these lovely people at work are just not having it. As funny as I think it is that I have been here for a little less than 3 years and am doing what they are after 30+, I keep it to myself.
At this very moment it is twenty minutes till 1pm. I get out of here at 6pm, so I have about 5 or so hours to try and fill my dya with something that means more than this job to me.
I have been studying for my A+ certification. Though I am very knowledgable with a pc a little review never hurt anyone, and with a going rate of between $250.00 and $300.00 for the tests I had better pass. So this being my ambition, and more than a hobby this is were my time should be spent. I just want a PC related career, regardless of the doing. I am not lazy but F@#$ manual labor, no matter the pay.
Well, prepare for a lot of updates as i find this to be my ending to my first post. I plan on spouting random knowledge and random B.S. your way every time I get a chance oh relief of mine. So, expect post on life, cool things I like and poetry and songs.
I warned you so beware...
En.Ki
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